Picking Up The Pieces
by Moonbebe
Summary: It's been a while since Fractures - Only spoilers through that episode.


Title: Picking Up The Pieces

Author: Moonbebe

EMail: moonbebe33@yahoo.com

Rating: PG/PG-13

Spoilers: Only through the end of Fractures!

Disclaimer: These characters are not mine, they belong to SciFi Channel, Henson, Rockne O'Bannon, Ben Browder, Claudia Black, etc. etc. I'm not making any money off of this story. I'm just taking them out to play, I promise to return them safe and sound... and hopefully just a bit happier.

A/N: Thanks for taking the time to read and hopefully respond. Constructive criticism is more than welcome! Thanks to my beta readers - tcscaper, Jadeshand and AerynCrichton - I wouldn't have finished without your encouragement!

***************************************************

She wasn't so sure she wanted to do this. But from where she stood right now, she had no choice. Aeryn let out a slow deep breath, cursing her rotten luck that had put her in this position. Holding her hands up in front of her face, she scowled at the bright white bandages covering them, leaving only her fingers free. She silently berated herself for being so frelling clumsy lately, having just burned her palms changing out some sensors in the transport pod the day before.

"Crichton" John's com crackled to life, causing him to bump his head on the console of his module.

"Uh, yeah Aeryn?" Rubbing his head lightly, he sat back waiting for her response, surprised that she had commed him in the first place.

"Can you come to my quarters, please?" He noticed her voice cracked before she finished her sentence.

Worry creased his brow as he jumped down from his module. He couldn't for the life of him figure out what she needed from him. Hell, she hadn't talked directly to him in weekens. She must be in desperate need of something to not wait until one of the girls returned from the commerce planet they were all on right now.

He slowly made his way down the corridor towards Aeryn's quarters, absently rubbing the goose egg on the back of his head.

Aeryn could hear his light footsteps coming down the hallway. Cursing softly, she took several deep breaths to calm herself down. There was no way she could wait until one of the girls returned from the commerce planet. Shuddering, she felt a drop of Kelpac oil slide slowly down the side of her face.

John knocked softly on the outside of Aeryn's chamber and waited for the soft "enter" from within. Slowly waving his hand over the control, John stalled until the door was completely open before stepping inside the room.

He couldn't entirely stop the grunt of surprise that escaped from his throat as he took in the sight before him.

Aeryn was covered head to toe in thick, black Kelpac oil. The mutinous look on her face told him that he had best keep any smart comments to himself if he knew what was good for him. Not that he much felt like joking these days. Any chance to get close to Aeryn always put him on his best behavior lately.

"What happened swee... uh... Aeryn?" John caught his slip of the tongue at the last moment.

Suppressing the shudder that worked it's way through her at John's slip; she turned more fully towards him.

"Frelling DRDs were on a shelf above me in the maintenance bay and one tipped over the can of Kelpac oil that was sitting there. With these bandages on my hands, I have no way of cleaning myself up..." Aeryn stopped talking, the rolling of her stomach coupled with the incredulous look on Crichton's face succeeded in choking off her air supply momentarily.

"Umm... well, hold on, let me go get some towels and some of Moya's version of GoJo and we'll get you cleaned up in no time." John backed slowly out the door before pivoting on his heel and heading back towards the maintenance bay.

Aeryn watched him walk out; releasing the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. This was going to be harder than she thought. The image of John helping her bathe made her break out in a cold sweat.

John stopped in the maintenance bay taking several deep breaths, scanning the shelves for the de-greaser he needed. Her asking him to help her clean up was the last thing he had ever expected. He'd help her, and then get the hell out of there before he broke down totally and made a complete fool of himself.

Spotting the small can of de-greaser, he grabbed it, stopping briefly in the wash chamber to grab a large stack of towels and some sort of waterproof bags to protect Aeryn's bandages before quickly heading back to her chamber.

Aeryn watched as John walked back in her door, his eyes meeting hers briefly before skittering away as he turned to deposit his supplies on her bed.

"Come here and let me wrap your hands so your bandages don't get wet." John motioned her over while picking up the bags. He felt the air around him stir as she moved closer coming to stand by his side, hands stretched out in front of her. He caught the pungent smell of the Kelpac oil, but could still smell her sweet scent underlying it.

Swiftly shaking his head to rid it of his musings, he turned and carefully wrapped her hands in some of the food storage bags he had found, taping them to her wrists so that her bandages stayed dry.

Aeryn's heart beat faster and her mouth went dry as she watched John tend to her hands. She could feel the callused tips of his fingers against her skin as he taped the bags causing a shiver to race down her spine. She closed her eyes and let her head drop forward, long hair shielding her expression from him as she struggled to hold back the tears

John saw her face as her head dropped and realized what was probably running through her head at the moment. Sighing to himself, he stepped back giving her some room before reaching for the zipper on her green shirt.

"What.." Aeryn's voice was startled as her head popped up, eyes wide and anxious as she unconsciously tried to stop what he was doing.

"Aeryn..." John's voice trailed off as he watched her glance at his hand and then back at his face before her body relaxed and she averted her eyes to stare at some spot on the wall over his left shoulder.

Realizing that she was not going to stop him from helping her, he reached for the zipper on her shirt and pulled it all the way down releasing the clasp at the bottom. Trying not to stare at the breasts he hadn't seen in two long cycles, he gently eased the sleeves over her hands and dropped the oil soaked shirt in a heap on the floor.

Reaching for her utility belt, he felt her body jerk as he unsnapped the clasp but she didn't say anything as he took it and laid it on her table.

Aeryn desperately struggled against the memories flooding her brain, those from when her John had also unsnapped her utility belt, though the circumstances were so much different than what they were now. She glanced at Crichton's face, noticing the sweat beaded on his upper lip, eyes carefully intent on undoing the clasp on her leather pants.

She unconsciously sucked in a deep breath causing her already flat stomach to go concave when John slipped his fingers into the top of her pants, silently wrestling with the suddenly stubborn clasp.

John finally managed to undo Aeryn's pants only to realize that she still had her boots on. Bending down on one knee he undid the clasps on both boots before carefully wrapping one hand around the heel of the boot and the other around her thigh to hold her steady as he worked the boot off her foot. He repeated the gesture for her other boot, carefully peeling the sock off as well.

Aeryn watched, a subtle trembling deep down in her guts as John carefully removed her boots, the care he was taking evident in his gestures. Her heart was reeling, her mind clouded with confusion.

Returning to his upright position in front of her, he grasped the sides of her pants pushing them down over her hips leaving her underwear in place. He let them drop to the floor where she was able to step out of them, giving them a kick so they landed in a messy heap with her green shirt.

John held out a towel, wrapping it around her as she stepped closer letting her grasp the ends and pull them together.

"Okay..." John cleared his throat before continuing. "How do you want to do this?"

The hoarse question directed at her snapped Aeryn out of her daze. "Oh. Well... let me try to wash as much as I can, but I think I will need some help with my hair."

John nodded and silently handed her the container of de-greaser watching as she gingerly grasped the can, careful not to let their fingers brush and then turn and disappear into the shower. 

John slowly released the breath he had been unconsciously holding and slowly circled the room, restless energy starting to creep up his spine, but alert for any sign that she may need his assistance.

Minutes passed and still John heard nothing from the shower chamber. He made himself stop pacing and stood in the middle of her cell, eyes slowly passing over Aeryn's bed and dresser noting how neat she still kept her room even after all these cycles.

"John?" That one word had John's heart racing as he stepped closer to the shower to answer Aeryn's summons.

"Yeah Aeryn, I'm here."

"Could you please come and wash my hair and my back for me?" He noticed the slight tremor in her voice but she didn't waver or rescind the request.

"Sure Bab... uh, yeah, I'll be right there." John cursed his tongue as he slipped again, the endearments still flowing easily. Hastily he undid his boots and pulled them and his socks off dropping them in an untidy pile, quickly followed by his leather pants and t-shirt.

Clad only in his boxers, John stepped into the shower with her.

Billows of steam obscured his vision momentarily as he stepped into the shower stall, quietly closing the door behind him as he draped several towels over the wall. He breathed deeply, the warm humid air temporarily calming his nerves as he turned toward Aeryn.

Her back was to him, thick black oil still streaking across her ivory skin, oil-laden tendrils of hair stuck here and there. Taking note of her stiff posture, he let his eyes wander for a microt appreciating the feminine form in front of him before turning his attention back to the matter at hand.

"Aeryn, I'm going to rub this de-greaser through your hair first and then across your back and then we'll rinse and use Moya's cleanser next."

He waited for her small nod of assent before walking towards her to stand within an arm's reach. Scooping up some of the de-greaser he began the process.

Aeryn's eyes closed at his first touch. She felt the gentle movements of his hands as he smoothed the gel through her hair, gently massaging it into her scalp. Almost against her will her body relaxed, goosebumps racing down her body to her toes as John's fingers continued to rub the gel through her hair making sure he didn't miss any of it.

John blanked his mind for the moment, letting himself enjoy once again the feel of her hair between his fingers. Her hair had fascinated him from the beginning and it was one of the many things he had missed while she had been gone. Hell, he had missed it since she'd been back. The chance to run a hand through her hair or down her braid.

Realizing that he had removed all the oil from her hair, he turned his attention to her back, warming more gel between his hands before smoothing it across her shoulder blades and down her spine, making sure he was removing all traces of the oil. He hesitated when he reached the small dimples on her back marking the tops of her buttocks. Drawing a deep breath, he hurriedly slid his hands across her buttocks before returning to her hips.

Aeryn's heart started racing as she felt John's hesitation then the hurried movements to clean the oil from her backside. She shuddered slightly as his hands returned to her hips. At that moment, she wanted nothing more than to turn and let him hold her and bury her face against his chest. She didn't understand herself, but she knew she couldn't do it... not yet.

"Okay," John's voice startled her out of her reverie, causing her to bring her head up and half turn towards him. "Back up under the water and let's rinse off all this de-greaser."

She did as he asked closing her eyes as the warm water poured down over her head. The warmth cocooned her body, as she felt John's hands bury themselves in her hair again, making sure that all the oil was gone. He pulled her back towards him out of the water as he took her body cleanser and squirted some in her hair and across her back, washing the last traces of de-greaser from her.

John lost himself in the smell of clean woman now that the pungent Kelpac oil had been washed away. Hands trembling, he gave her hair one more rinse under the water before backing away and grabbing a towel.

"Umm, hey, I'll let you finish up and I'll help you when you're ready to get out, okay?" Fumbling for the handle on the shower door, John quickly opened it and stumbled back out into Aeryn's room. Silently cursing himself for acting like an adolescent, he hurriedly toweled himself off before trying to shrug back into his leather pants, an arduous task because of his damp skin and wet underclothes. 

Aeryn stood under the warm water a few microts longer, letting it beat down as she shed a few tears. The shower had been harder than she had thought it would be. It had brought back so many memories. Some old, some recent, but all having to do with John.

Probably the one thing that she and her John had not done was shower together. On Talyn, their schedules had been so hectic that they had barely had time to catch a sleep cycle together.

The memories flooding her brain right now were of the gentleness with which her John had always treated her - exactly how this John was treating her now. How John had always treated her from the beginning. Her John... this John. It made her head spin. They were the same; she knew that, and the longer she put off the John with her now the more apparent it became.

She was hurting him, she could see that and she didn't want that to happen any longer.

John had just finished tying his bootlaces when he heard Aeryn leave the shower. Glancing up he saw her walking towards him wrapped in a towel, a becoming flush to her skin from the heat of the water. Tearing his eyes from her face he glanced down at her hands.

"Hold out your hands and I'll unwrap them." 

She held her hands out front of her allowing him to remove the waterproof wrapping, carefully watching his face as he inspected her bandages for any sign of dampness.

"They look okay for now, but you need to get Jool to change the dressings on them later. You don't want to invite infection..." His voice tapered off when he looked up and caught her haunted blue gaze. He took in the picture before him, creamy pale skin, the dark blue gaze, and the raven hair just drying around the edges. His love for the woman in front of him overwhelmed him for a second causing him to shut his eyes as if in pain.

Aeryn watched the play of emotions cross John's face. The face that often could be read like a book. She knew what he was feeling right then, she had only seen it too often not so long ago. The knot of despair loosened a bit in her chest right then. She knew things would never be the same, but just maybe they could move forward from here and build upon what they had.

"I miss him." Aeryn said, voice barely above a whisper.

John opened his eyes looking straight into the face of the woman he had never stopped loving.

"I know you do." He said, his own voice whisper soft but, gravelly with emotion.

"I missed you," she said, looking directly at him, a tremulous smile on her lips.

John swallowed around the lump in his throat, "I missed you too."

He watched the smile spread across her face, softening her eyes and turning up the corners of her mouth. He couldn't stop the beaming smile that slowly spread across his own face. In that split second, he knew. They would be okay. There were still going to be hard times to work through, that they still had a lot to talk about but for just that small microt of time, he knew they would work through everything that had happened and build something new.

John brought a hand up and hesitatingly cupped Aeryn's cheek. He watched the sheen of tears that welled up as she slowly closed her eyes, snuggling her cheek in his hand before opening her eyes back up, the small smile still gracing her lips.

He nodded his head at her, the small gesture letting her know that he understood.

Dropping his hands he turned and grabbed a clean towel. Folding it to make a cushion, he sat on the edge of her bed dropping the towel between his feet.

"Grab your hairbrush and come here," he said glancing at her.

Aeryn frowned but turned to do as he had asked.

Motioning for her to sit on the floor between his legs, he waited for her to comply.

Throwing another questioning glance his way, she gracefully sank to the floor, carefully holding the towel together.

John waited until she was settled before grabbing the last clean towel, using it to squeeze the excess water from her hair.

"Hand me your brush..." John held his breath, waiting to see if she would let him do this one last thing for her. 

Aeryn hesitated a split second before handing the brush to him. She felt him take the brush from her, his fingers overlapping hers in a warm caress before the brush left her hand. She closed her eyes at the first pull of the brush against her scalp, his strokes gentle but steady. She had never let anyone do this for her before. Had never thought to let anyone do this for her.

"Why are you brushing my hair," she inquired, curious as to why he would want to perform such a menial task for her.

"I'm sure your hands are not feeling too well after that shower, besides, I've always wanted to brush your hair for you..." his voice tapered off as he continued to pull the brush through her hair.

Aeryn sat quietly for a moment, enjoying the sensation of him doing such a personal task for her. It felt even more intimate than his helping her with her shower.

"Thank you, John," she whispered, not wanting to break the mood.

John smiled to himself as he continued brushing her hair, enjoying the silky feeling as it flowed over his hands and down his legs.

The hypnotic movement of John brushing her hair was making Aeryn sleepy. Catching a yawn trying to make its way out, her eyes dropped closed as her head came to rest against John's thigh.

He continued brushing her hair watching as Aeryn's head slumped over before coming to rest against the inside of his thigh. He should have known, he thought to himself. Brushing his little sister's hair had always put her right to sleep.

Not bothering to stop the smile that spread across his face again, he leaned over placing the brush on Aeryn's bedside table. Now he just needed to figure out how to get up without waking her.

Running his hands over her hair one more time, John lifted her head away from his leg while standing up so he could let her head lean against the side of the bed. Quickly maneuvering, he managed to get up without jostling her anymore and took a moment to stretch the kinks out of his legs.

Picking up the brush, he returned it to her dresser top and turned back to looking at her. He took a microt to let his eyes wander over her once more, noticing that the towel had fallen open revealing a naked hip.

Trying to stop the flow of X-rated pictures that were starting to pop up in his mind, John kneeled down beside Aeryn and scooped her up with a small grunt. His warrior woman was all muscle. Laughing to himself, knowing she would not appreciate the nickname, John laid Aeryn on the bed gently pulling the blanket over her before turning to leave the room.

He was almost to the door when he heard his name.

Aeryn had awakened with a start when she felt the blanket settle around her shoulders. Lying there she had wrestled with herself for a moment. Did she want him to go or stay?

Her heart made the decision for her when John's name slipped from her lips.

"Yeah Babe?"

She saw him wince when he wasn't able to catch that slip of his tongue.

"Will you stay?" she asked through trembling lips.

"Aeryn?" John's voice was at once questioning and hopeful.

He watched her struggle with her inner self for a moment before answering him.

"Please.." she whispered, not wanting to beg him, but not wanting him to leave.

Without another word, John walked back towards Aeryn coming to stand by the side of her bed.

They stared at each other for several microts before she moved, sliding towards the far side of the bed, loosening her towel and dropping it over the side of the bed. She looked him straight in the eyes when she let the golden bedcover drop to her waist.

Not letting his gaze waver from her eyes, John felt like he was in a dream. He slowly removed his T-shirt, letting it drop to the floor before walking back towards her chamber door and closing it, drawing the privacy curtain.

Turning back towards the bed, he watched as Aeryn drew her legs up in front of her and wrapped her arms around her knees, still silently watching him.

Moving back towards the bed he sat down on the edge to remove his boots once again. Glancing back over his shoulder, he noticed that Aeryn was still intently watching his every move. He turned his attention back to his boots for a microt before turning back towards her.

"Come here Sweetheart," he whispered, holding out his arms for her.

She moved swiftly, wrapping her arms around his neck as she buried her face in his chest the way she had wanted to do earlier in the shower. John's own arms pulled her tight against him while he buried his face in her hair slowly rocking them both.

He could feel her warm lips moving against his skin and leaned back so he could look into her face.

"What did you say?"

She looked at him for a moment; a single tear making it's way down her cheek.

"I love you... so, so much"

John felt her words clutch at his heart, words he never thought he'd hear from her again.

"Oh baby, I love you too..." He kissed away the tear on her cheek and looked directly into her eyes, "welcome home".


End file.
